Wife Farts Before Bed

My wife won't stop ripping ass in our bed. It's getting really tiring. How do I get my wife to stop being a brap hog? So my wife always gets bad gas before bed and while we're laying in bed before going to sleep, she will literally not stop farting. Every couple minutes or so she'll keep letting one rip loudly. Yes, I am aware women fart and it's normal and she doesn't have to be sexy all the time blah blah but it's fucking constant! For hours! While I'm trying to sleep! They smell so fucking rank too it's like something died in her asshole. I've tried gently suggesting she take medication for her gas, but she doesn't really seem to think of it as a problem. If I ask her to stop, she says, "You know I can't help it. BBBBBRRRRRTTTTTT!" It's so hard to fall asleep with her constant smelly farts for hours. She even farted in her sleep too! I don't know what to do or how to get her to stop or take this seriously. Update as requested: We talked more about it. She got very upset with me because I was "body shaming her" which I'm not. I told her I get it. Women fart but she couldn't even make it through us arguing WITHOUT FARTING FOR FUCKS SAKE. I told her to quit eating fucking milk and cheese because she's lactose intolerant and she knows this. She told me I can't control what she eats so I said, fine take lactaid. She claimed she does. I called her on her bullshit, and we argued more, and it ended with her angrily sipping from a carton of milk to punish me later and me telling her we're going FUCKING VEGAN in this house! As I Microwaved a large can of baked beans to defend myself from the incoming FARTNADO. I know it's more expensive to go vegan, but I don't fucking care! No more milk, cheese, eggs or coffee creamer which is apparently 90% of my DISGUSTING BRAP HOG OF A WIFE'S diet. I'm gonna try to slip lactaid in her food and drink from now on. Kill me now.

Это длинная текстовая история о мужчине, который жалуется, что его жена постоянно громко и вонюче пукает перед сном, во время ссор и даже во сне. Он пытается убедить её принимать лекарства от газов, отказаться от молочных продуктов и в итоге объявляет дом веганским, одновременно готовясь к «FARTNADO» с помощью печёных бобов. Шутка строится на гиперболе, грубом языке и абсурдной эскалации бытовой жалобы; ролик часто отправляют как реакцию на невыносимый запах, пуки или чрезмерно длинные истории. EN: This is a long text story about a man complaining that his wife constantly farts loudly and stinkily before bed, during arguments, and even in her sleep. He tries to get her to take gas medication and give up dairy, eventually declaring the house vegan while preparing for a “FARTNADO” with baked beans. The joke relies on hyperbole, crude language, and absurd escalation of a domestic complaint; people send the video as a reaction to unbearable smells, farting, or excessively long stories.

• @jeppa420 / 27429 2022-08-26