Cave Johnson Invents New Pronouns

Cave Johnson here, I’ve been asked to explain what my pronouns are. After having some eggheads explain to me what the totally-not-a-mantis-man-now-testing volunteer meant, I know what the hell they were asking. And I thought “why should I go by any current pronouns? I’ll make better ones!” So, my pronouns are now turrs/emse. I’ll explain what they mean. A turrs is someone who gets really goddamn excited by moonrocks used in scientific testing. An emse is me. Just me. It’s my pronoun and if you use it, I’ll sue you out of existence. And then- hm? What? Ah, I’ve just been told that’s not how English works. Ok! New research department! Advancement of the English language because it’s boring and needs better words! Get on it. Now.

Cave Johnson announces bizarre new pronouns, “turrs/emse,” while demanding a research department improve the English language. The joke parodies pronoun discourse through Cave’s arrogant Portal-style corporate scientist persona and his absurd definitions. It is used as a sarcastic reaction to invented terminology, overconfident nonsense, or exaggerated complaints about language. EN: Cave Johnson announces bizarre new pronouns, “turrs/emse,” while demanding a research department improve the English language. The joke parodies pronoun discourse through Cave’s arrogant Portal-style corporate scientist persona and his absurd definitions. It is used as a sarcastic reaction to invented terminology, overconfident nonsense, or exaggerated complaints about language.

• @rzeczyzabawne / 9100 2023-05-16