Stop Doing Unix Programming

STOP DOING UNIX - DEVICES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN FILE NODES - YEARS OF COMPUTING and yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for having more than one THREAD - Wanted concurrency anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "EVENT LOOPS" - "Yes, please write this file to /dev/null. Please cat infinite bytes from /dev/zero" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the CPUs and peripherals we built for them (This is REAL Code, written by REAL Programmers): # rm -rf / Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault :(){ :|:&};: ???? ?????? ?????????? "Hello I would like $(wc -l</etc/passwd) apples please" They have played us for absolute fools

A satirical programming meme attacks Unix conventions by presenting devices as file nodes, threads as unnecessary, event loops as a joke, and dangerous shell commands as supposedly real code. The punchline is that Unix programmers have made ordinary computing look absurdly complicated, ending with a command substitution that asks for the number of lines in /etc/passwd as if ordering apples. It is used as a reaction to mocking Unix, shell scripting, or overly elaborate programming traditions. EN: A satirical programming meme attacks Unix conventions by presenting devices as file nodes, threads as unnecessary, event loops as a joke, and dangerous shell commands as supposedly real code. The punchline is that Unix programmers have made ordinary computing look absurdly complicated, ending with a command substitution that asks for the number of lines in /etc/passwd as if ordering apples. It is used as a reaction to mocking Unix, shell scripting, or overly elaborate programming traditions.

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