Introducing C++43 Features

Introducing C++43 This year, the programming language you love comes with tremendous new features, including: • 33 new STL sub-libraries for 3D graphics, quantum computing, blockchain development, artificial intelligence, and political decisionmaking, all of which are already deprecated • Parabolic meta-template-template templates • Method bodies can now be written in Perl • Pass by qxrmvalue semi-shared reference, which enables copy-sometimes-but-move-other-times-and-sometimes-crash semantics • IVAN, the smart personal compiler assistant, now comes with 3 new voices • CppJunior, the new simplified subset of C++ you’ll now have to use to get any actual goddamn programming done

A parody announcement introduces the fictional C++43 programming language with absurd new features, including already-deprecated libraries, recursive templates, Perl method bodies, unstable reference semantics, and a simplified CppJunior subset. The joke mocks C++ complexity, backwards compatibility, overcomplicated standards, and the frustration of needing increasingly restricted tools to write working code. EN: A parody announcement introduces the fictional C++43 programming language with absurd new features, including already-deprecated libraries, recursive templates, Perl method bodies, unstable reference semantics, and a simplified CppJunior subset. The joke mocks C++ complexity, backwards compatibility, overcomplicated standards, and the frustration of needing increasingly restricted tools to write working code.

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