Buddha Explains Self-Checkout Theft

Once upon a time the Buddha went to Target with his disciple. He rang up steak as onions and skipped over items. The disciple said “That’s self-checkout theft.” The Buddha replied “Without the self to checkout, there is only theft.” The worker immediately attained enlightenment

The Buddha and his disciple are at a Target self-checkout, where the Buddha scans steak as onions and skips items. The joke is a pun on Buddhist selflessness: without a “self” to check out, the act is framed as “only theft,” causing the worker to reach enlightenment. It is used as an absurd reaction to clever wordplay, philosophical loopholes, or petty shoplifting humor.

• @rzeczyzabawne / 5375 2023-01-10