The World's Angriest Hamburger Turtle

I traded him three king-size snickers bars I had on me for the turtle because I vaguely remembered that many freshwater turtles were toxic to eat (incorrectly, as it turns out, but this was when I still had a Nokia Brick that lived a blissful, internet-free existence), and didn't want him accidentally poisoning his family, but didn't want to just. Steal his hard-won turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans have been cautious about poisons, looking out for strangers kids and bartering shit since before we were technically humans, probably. Having acquired a turtle, I now needed to transport the turtle to the on-campus pond that effectively served as an Invasive Freshwater Turtle Containment Zone, but did not have a bag that could adequately contain him so I had to sit the rest of that bus ride, at the station and all through the next bus ride holding the turtle like the world's angriest hamburger. Multiple people were curious about and delighted with the turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans love an animal, especially one that is capable of appearing grumpy, and hands are for holding things. By the time I got back to Campus, the anthropology and child psychology building that the Invasive Turtle Containment Pond was in had closed, so I had to figure out how to climb the tree over the wall and get down off the roof while holding The World's Angriest And Sharpest Hamburger. I eventually ended up having to

A long humorous story describes trading three king-size Snickers bars for a freshwater turtle, carrying it through multiple bus rides like an angry hamburger, and finally trying to get it into an invasive turtle containment pond after the building had closed. The joke comes from treating increasingly absurd behavior as “Perfectly Normal” while anthropomorphizing the grumpy turtle and comparing its shape to a hamburger. It is a reaction meme for bizarre personal anecdotes, needless overcomplication, and confidently strange acts of kindness toward animals. EN: A long humorous story describes trading three king-size Snickers bars for a freshwater turtle, carrying it through multiple bus rides like an angry hamburger, and finally trying to get it into an invasive turtle containment pond after the building had closed. The joke comes from treating increasingly absurd behavior as “Perfectly Normal” while anthropomorphizing the grumpy turtle and comparing its shape to a hamburger. It is a reaction meme for bizarre personal anecdotes, needless overcomplication, and confidently strange acts of kindness toward animals.

• @rzeczyzabawne / 4806 2022-12-28