NPC Meets Armed NPC Family

>get first gf at 24 >she's 21 >she still lives with her parents >she invites me to lunch with her parents and then back to their place to hang out >"The family wants to know you anon" >father mean mugs me the entire time, mother is genuinely interested in what I do for a living >get back to their place >father invites me to sit down across the living room table from him >as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me >"tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same >place my gun on coffee table >"What're you trying to say there, boy?" >"I haven't even spoken yet though" >"You calling me a liar?" >"What?" >her mother comes in and hysterically yells at us to calm down >he's yelling at her to mind her own business >"I'm yelling so I can be heard, trying to understand what's going on >gf hears and stands in the doorway silent >eventually everything quiets down >father still ranting about how "I will not be threatened in my own house" >try to explain how I misunderstood him but he's not having it >later on asks "Did you always have a gun?" >"I always carry" >"Even on our dates?" >"Did you think I was gonna rob you or something?" >muggers don't wait until it's convenient for you to get mugged, you know? >"Oh that makes sense" I'm an NPC dating an NPC who is the daughter of an NPC

A 24-year-old man visits his 21-year-old girlfriend’s parents, where her father silently places a gun on the coffee table. The narrator misunderstands this as an invitation to display his own gun, causing an escalating family argument before they realize the misunderstanding. The punchline describes everyone as an NPC, parodying emotionally stilted, socially awkward behavior and deadpan greentext storytelling.

• @rzeczyzabawne / 2573 2022-10-24