Business Email Glossary

my coworker has this hanging by her desk and I cannot stop laughing business email glossary thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send" thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up would you be so kind: fucking do it best: i have never physically met you all best: this conversation is over all my best: i wish you would die happy to help: i will do the easiest thing in my inbox i hope this helps: I've done all I'm willing to do i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to sorry to chase: answer my email so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it I'll check and get back to you: i might forget to I'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone thanks!: i'm not mad at you thanks!!: please don't be mad at me thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk please advise: this might be your fault kindly advise: this is entirely your fault mind if I swing by?: i'm already in the elevator can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

The image shows a printed “business email glossary” hanging by a desk, translating polite workplace phrases into their blunt, emotionally honest meanings. The joke is that common professional email language often hides annoyance, blame, threats, or passive-aggressive intent. It is shared as a reaction to office communication and corporate politeness.

• @right_wing_dev_squads / 13698 2026-01-13