Stop Doing Agile Scrum Meme

Text on the meme

STOP DOING AGILE • REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS • YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster • "In order to reduce process we add more process" — statement dreamed up by the UTTTERLY DERANGED • POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL • T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT • “Points represent complexity, not time” YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK?? • People who want to “BURN DOWN” belongs in JAIL not run software teams • Same goes for people doing GROOMING This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters: Planning Work Start: 50 points Done: 70 points Remaining: 100 points ACTUAL IDEAL ??? ???? ????? They have played us for absolute fools

What it means

A parody anti-Agile poster criticizes Scrum practices such as changing requirements, story-point estimation, planning poker, burn-down charts, and backlog grooming. The punchline is that the mock “real Scrum” metrics contradict themselves—70 points are done while 100 remain—and the dramatic conclusion says Scrum masters have fooled everyone.

Objects

text poster / текстовый плакат blue background / голубой фон bullet-point list / список с маркерами line chart / линейный график red actual line / красная линия фактических значений blue ideal line / синяя идеальная линия pie chart / круговая диаграмма red pie section / красный сектор диаграммы blue pie section / синий сектор диаграммы Scrum metrics / метрики Scrum software development terminology / терминология разработки программного обеспечения