The Collected Wisdom of Duke Nukem

The Collected Wisdom of Duke Nukem "It's time to chew ass." -Duke Suckem "BALLS BALLS BALLS" -Duke Nuist "Damn, I'm a dead franchise" -Dick Broken "Every video game character I make fun of stays relevant longer than I do." -Adam Atomic "I'm here to work hard and improve my community" -Richard Nuketheem "Even my last game got made faster than Yandere Simulator" -Duki Nukem "Double my fee for I walk from the franchise." -Jon St. John "My face, your ass - what's the distance?" -Kink Pinkem "Bloody hell, I've bollocks of steel" -Tea Drinkem, third Duke of Nukingham "All I wanted was to defend my store from the L.A. rioters" -Kim-nu Douk "Randy Pitchford will never be my real father" -Rockem Sockem "Hail to the king, baby" -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "Stop tweeting at us" -@GearboxOfficial "I'm here too!" -John Nukem, who was Duke Nukem's brother "I'm here to crap hard and kick ass, and I'm all out of hemorrhoid cream" -Dookie Nookie "Excuse me sir, might I please borrow a piece of bubblegum?" -Limp Dickwad "Half-Life [...] had, overall, more satisfying level design" -PC Gamer, vol. 20, #2 "Quack" -Duck Nukem "Always bet on Duke" -Advice you should disregard after 1997 "Damn, I'm good" -Person who compiled these quotes, being incorrect

A collage titled “The Collected Wisdom of Duke Nukem” shows Duke Nukem holding a rifle beside a collection of absurd, fake quotations attributed to distorted names, celebrities, fictional figures, and parody accounts. The joke mocks Duke Nukem’s outdated macho persona, the long-delayed Duke Nukem Forever, Gearbox and Randy Pitchford, and the unreliable nature of internet quote compilations.

• @itvbia / 8245 2020-12-17