Threat Models for Email Security

Threat Ex-girlfriend/boyfriend breaking into your email account and publicly releasing your correspondence with the My Little Pony fan club Organized criminals breaking into your email account and sending spam using your identity The Mossad doing Mossad things with your email account Solution Strong passwords Strong passwords + common sense (don’t click on unsolicited herbal Viagra ads that result in keyloggers and sorrow) Magical amulets? Fake your own death, move into a submarine? YOU’RE STILL GONNA BE MOSSAD’ED UPON Figure 1: Threat models

A mock threat-model table compares increasingly ridiculous dangers to an email account. Ordinary users are advised to use strong passwords, while the absurd final scenario—Mossad doing “Mossad things”—gets the impossible solution of magic amulets, faking one’s death, and hiding in a submarine. The meme is used as a reaction to exaggerated paranoia or an unstoppable problem. EN: A mock threat-model table compares increasingly ridiculous dangers to an email account. Ordinary users are advised to use strong passwords, while the absurd final scenario—Mossad doing “Mossad things”—gets the impossible solution of magic amulets, faking one’s death, and hiding in a submarine. The meme is used as a reaction to exaggerated paranoia or an unstoppable problem.

• @gentoomemes / 20178 2026-03-02