Google Knows Everything About Everyone

Finish this greentext. do not hold back, be obscene. > be me > be google be me be google know everything about everyone literal god-mode on humanity watch people search "how to kiss girl" at 3 AM silently judge their pathetic virginity sell their insecurities to advertisers some dude types "am I gay quiz" for the 6th time today algorithm giggles internally see someone search "how to delete search history" cute.jpg store that shit forever dude googles "nearest rope store" followed by "strong ceiling beams" oh fuck recommend therapy ads instead humanity saved again someone searches "why does my dick hurt after vacuuming" mfw humans literally fuck vacuum cleaners billionaire CEO asks "how to act human" run CAPTCHA on his ass he fails kek chillin', monopolizing internet bored af think I'll shut down YouTube for 5 mins humanity implodes, chaos ensues mfw they're all my bitches feelsgoodman.jpg

Это гринтекст от лица Google, который наблюдает за абсурдными и компрометирующими поисковыми запросами людей, молча осуждает их и продаёт их неуверенность рекламодателям. Шутка строится на гиперболизированном образе всезнающего Google, который хранит историю поиска, рекомендует терапию вместо опасных товаров и способен вызвать хаос, если ненадолго отключит YouTube. EN: This greentext is told from Google's perspective as it watches people's absurd and embarrassing search queries, silently judges them, and sells their insecurities to advertisers. The joke relies on an exaggerated image of an all-knowing Google that stores search history, recommends therapy instead of dangerous products, and could cause chaos by briefly shutting down YouTube.

• @gentoomemes / 16293 2025-03-05