I Love Proprietary Technology

>Be me >Wake up, my smarthome HAL turns on the lights and prepares a morning shower. >Log onto my Windows computer >Intel Management Engine goes into full effect so the government can keep me safe from criminals >Open up Microsoft Edge and instantly get 380 debilitating viruses >Oh well, better renew my subscription to Norton antivirus >The wonderfully feature-full nature of Windows slows my computer to a crawl while Recall sends all my info to Microsoft for safe keeping >Play an online game and get absolutely rejkt by a Linux user (he must be cheating like the criminal he is) >Text my friend on my iPhone >He uses Android like a beta cuck >He tells me all about sideloading, sounds dangerous to my security >Thank god Apple is our friend and prevents us from doing such heinous activities >Google a recent medical symptom, luckily it knows everything about me so I don't have to look very deep to find good results >I love proprietary technology

A green frog sits beside a laptop and smartphone while a 4chan-style greentext describes a user enthusiastically relying on Windows, Apple, Google, Norton, and other proprietary technologies despite surveillance, malware, censorship, and poor performance. The joke is sarcastic: the narrator treats corporate control and closed ecosystems as helpful security features while mocking Linux and sideloading. EN: A green frog sits beside a laptop and smartphone while a 4chan-style greentext describes a user enthusiastically relying on Windows, Apple, Google, Norton, and other proprietary technologies despite surveillance, malware, censorship, and poor performance. The joke is sarcastic: the narrator treats corporate control and closed ecosystems as helpful security features while mocking Linux and sideloading.

• @gentoomemes / 14802 2024-11-18