The Fuck Nintendo Megalist

The ‘Fuck Nintendo’ Megalist • Completely ruin someone's life by taking 30% of their future paychecks at age 50, even after serving a prison sentence, who wasn’t even the main hacker but a “public voice and principal salesperson” • Slippi (Smash Melee Netcode Mod) cease and desist, canceling tournament over the requirement for players to stay at home during the COVID-19 pandemic • Etika Joyconboyz design charity DMCA because they had “Joycon” instead of “Joy-Con” • Limited time games for who the fuck knows why (3D All Stars & Mario 35) • Fan game shutdowns (AM2R, etc. just shut down when it released, good timing), Mario Royale that got cloned by Nintendo and then shut down afterwards anyway • Fan mods shutdowns (Kaze, BOTW multiplayer, SM64 online, Game Jolt) • Fan video shutdowns (DidYouKnowGaming?, Boundary Break, 3Vincause Mario 64 Chaos edition, Pointcrow BOTW, Project+) • Shutting down fan tournaments in both Smash and Splatoon • 2023 Shockingly strict tournament rules • Lockpick RCM homebrew tool DMCA • Nintendo Power magazine archive DMCA after it went out of print • Club Nintendo being canceled, discarding any points that were left over at the end • Lacking hardware power, especially evident in the Switch, where areas in BOTW & TOTK can go down to 20 FPS and below • Misinforming old franchises like Earthbound (still no Mother 3 translation), F-Zero (one new game in 20 years), Pokémon (extreme lack of quality), Starfox, and Metroid • Lowering the price of the newly (5 months) released 3DS with ~32% and just giving the original buyers some ROMs. Removing game soundtracks was way of listening to them officially anyway except for limited edition CDs only sold in Japan • Now removed ridiculous Creator’s Program that had very odd revenue share and restrictions put if you wanted to publish videos of Nintendo games • Joycon drift not being acknowledged until 2023, and a big lawsuit being put on them • Amiibo and Mini consoles artificial scarcity, creating a black market with scalpers • Caused a Donkey Kong costume actor to require surgery for being denied breaks and ice packs in the hot suit • Mobile game microtransactions galore. What happened to Nintendo not entering the market? • Absolute mountain of shovelware allowed on their platforms ever since the Wii, what happened with the Nintendo seal of approval? • Major game annoyances still staying in games (looking at you Animal Crossing with console saves and a plethora of other missing quality of life features, and abandoning the game for a mobile cashgrab) • Paying for online and getting P2P multiplayer with non-rollback code is atrocious, and the new expansion it’s even less worth it. Extra tier just for some more 30 year old ROMs • Historically terrible services and social media platforms (Miiverse) with Nintendo saying they haven’t even tried Xbox Live / PSN • The Switch to this day not having built in voice chat, requiring a phone app to be used alongside the game • Drip feeding 30 year old games that have been sold as digital downloads for 15 years so you have to re-buy them over and over and you can’t even “own” them, when both Wii and Wii U had separate libraries that did not carry over to either console • Selling games at 706 just because you can, never making large sales • Pornographic videos taken down because of copyright — does this make them canon? • Selling “remasters” for 70€ and they’re getting less and less advanced every time • Leaks exposed then of sending a private investigator to spy and stalk sumeone doxxing him and having a whole flowchart of how they planned to deal with him. Even to this day in 2023 he’s afraid to go out. • Leaks also exposed hiring a PI for stalking NeoMina, a DS/3DS hacker with creepy accuracy • Cartpombing the shit out of many great emulation/ROM sites that had gone untouched for years, filing multi-million dollar lawsuits over them • Sold a Super Mario Bros. ROM they downloaded on the internet on their official Wii Shop • Ran a price fixing cartel in Europe from 1991–1998 • Ripped off the actual creator of Donkey Kong (Ikegami) by illegally manufacturing boards without their involvement, Nintendo got sued for this • Suing the creators of the Game Genie back in 1990 • Yuzu+Citra DMCA (yes the devs were careless, still ridiculous and bad for emulators in general) • Dreams DMCA • Gary’s Mod Nintendo content DMCA (quite fair, but it’s also not hurting their sales) • Locking hardware controllers behind a Nintendo Online subscription, having to pay for both. • Palworld patent lawsuit • Ryujinx DMCA

The image is a dense satirical “megalist” cataloguing alleged anti-consumer, legal, technical, and business decisions by Nintendo, including DMCA takedowns, lawsuits, poor hardware, limited games, and online-service problems. The joke is the exaggerated accumulation of grievances: it is shared as an angry comedic rant or reaction when criticizing Nintendo or joking about being a Nintendo hater.

• @gentoomemes / 13778 2024-10-03