Makeup to Marry a Tech Billionaire

HELLO AGAIN. That I would wear to secure American tech billionaire Secure your eyebrow hairs in place Because the only musk you want Is Elon Musk I don’t want my tech billionaire to be so old like Bill Gates Might let you zuck on it and I keep half Go find yourself rich husband

A blonde woman applies makeup in a bathroom while giving exaggerated advice on how to attract an American tech billionaire. The joke relies on sexualized wordplay involving Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, plus jokes about Bill Gates’s age and divorcing for half the money. It works as an absurd, satirical reaction to gold-digging and billionaire culture.

Hello again, it is me your favorite Russian sugar baby lifestyle coach makeup guru supermodel here to show you the makeup That I would wear to secure American tech billionaire I'm going to be using a lot of makeup from Mac because the only job I want is Steve Jobs Secure your eyebrow hairs in place the way that you're going to secure the bag Don't forget to take shower beforehand because the only mask you want is Elon Musk If men try to call you an Uber say no the only Uber I'll ever ride the CEO I don't want my tech billionaire to be so old like Bill Gates because I'm afraid he will be Microsoft. Mark Zuckerberg, on the other hand, might let you duck on it. Relationship should be 50-50. He divorces me for cheating on him with yoga instructor, and I keep half. Don't let man define your self-worth. Only let him define your net worth. Now that you look like this, go find yourself a rich husband.

• @jemalloc / 251 2020-12-26