Autist Saves the West

shut up mom ssh is 500 ms slower than normal. MUST INVESTIGATE! the west must be saved son, are you still benchmarking postgresql? You can't just keep doing that all day. millions of computers must be safe imagine being the glowies who spent years working on a sophisticated social engineering plan to take over one of the most important and widely used open source projects in the world to execute potentially one of the worst cyberattacks in history, just to be stopped by some autistic dude who sperged out about ssh taking 0.7 seconds instead of 0.2 seconds. I'd like to give my heartfelt thanks to all the autists of the world. We would be living in darker times without you. I still can't believe someone could be this much of a sperg. god bless his autistic heart.

A Wojak-like programmer sits at a computer while his family asks why he is obsessively benchmarking PostgreSQL. He notices that SSH is slightly slower than normal and treats it as a critical investigation, accidentally stopping a supposed cyberattack. The joke celebrates extreme autistic attention to technical detail and is used as a reaction to someone whose obsessive troubleshooting unexpectedly solves a huge problem.

• @gentoomemes / 10375 2024-04-03