JavaScript in MySQL Goes Horribly Wrong

Oracle recently announced that the MySQL database server now supports JavaScript stored procedures. JavaScript for stored routines is currently in preview and only available in Enterprise Edition and MySQL Heatwave. The introduction of JavaScript support enables developers to implement advanced data processing logic within the database. By minimizing data movement between the database server and client applications, stored functions and procedures can reduce latencies, network overhead, and egress costs. Öystein Grovlen, senior principal software engineer at Oracle, and Farhan Tauheed, consulting member of technical staff, write: The support for JavaScript stored programs, will not only improve developer productivity by leveraging the large ecosystem; moreover developers will now possess the necessary skills to write stored programs. In other words, organizations may now tap into a broader range of developer talent by utilizing the widely accessible JavaScript skill set for backend development. Among the common use cases for the new feature, Oracle highlights data analytics, approximate search, data validation, compression, encoding, and data transformation. replace sql with js, i'll rip out my eyes bro Some folks are worried about Skynet. Just send them this article. this sounds amazing node.js in MySQL possible now? TDD for mysql, giga chad ANY OTHER LANGUAGE Javascript is SKYNET Oh No. SQL injections are going to be a million times more horrific now Its the night king! W xD specs are a mistake I heard EU is preparing to pass a law so you are legally forced developers that writes javascript inside mysql ಠ

На фоне статьи Oracle о поддержке JavaScript в хранимых процедурах MySQL стример в наушниках с микрофоном сначала оживлённо реагирует, а затем выглядит всё более обеспокоенным. Комментарии зрителей шутят, что JavaScript внутри базы данных приведёт к «миллиону раз более ужасным» SQL-инъекциям и превращению MySQL в Skynet. Ролик отправляют как реакцию на сомнительные или чрезмерно смелые решения в программировании. EN: Against an Oracle article about JavaScript support in MySQL stored procedures, a headset-wearing streamer with a microphone reacts enthusiastically before looking increasingly concerned. Viewer comments joke that JavaScript inside a database will make SQL injections “a million times more horrific” and turn MySQL into Skynet. The clip is shared as a reaction to questionable or overly bold programming decisions.

• @gentoomemes / 8463 2024-01-03