How to De-Google a New Phone

Anonymous (ID: A4KFTdre) 11/18/22(Fri)15:57:50 No.404981 >get new phone >boot first time >do you want to send usage statistics... No >login with google.. skip >if you don't login to google you can't use Pla... skip >login to samsung.. No >install those recommen... No >this might interest you... No >Synchronise your data... No >Get your curated news with Google Discovery on your homescreen... Deactivate >OneDrive wants to... long press -> deinstall >phoneinfo -> development mode -> OEM unlock On >reboot to bootloader -> unlock -> you will lose your warranty -> yes >samloader -> download firmware -> launch Magisk -> patch firmware -> boot into odin mode -> flash firmware >"Attention! This phone is not using official google-approved spyware!" >launch browser -> do you want to sync -> No >Download f-droid -> download Aurora with f-droid >download Firefox with ublock >Remove Chrome, Google Play Store, Google Services, everything with Google in Its Name >Service Provider Update is being installed -> Cancel -> remove Configuration Update Manager >Remove Galaxy Store, Samsung Cloud, Samsung AppUpdates >Install WhatsApp to communicate with boomer normie relatives -> turn sync off and disallow Its background services

A scrolling 4chan-style greentext post lists an absurdly intense process for setting up a new Samsung phone: rejecting every prompt, unlocking the bootloader, flashing patched firmware, and removing Google and Samsung services. The joke is that ordinary phone setup becomes a paranoid anti-surveillance crusade, while WhatsApp is grudgingly retained to communicate with “boomer normie relatives.” The clip is accompanied by synthetic speech reading the post over music, making the escalating checklist feel deadpan and deliberately overdramatic. EN: A scrolling 4chan-style greentext post lists an absurdly intense process for setting up a new Samsung phone: rejecting every prompt, unlocking the bootloader, flashing patched firmware, and removing Google and Samsung services. The joke is that ordinary phone setup becomes a paranoid anti-surveillance crusade, while WhatsApp is grudgingly retained to communicate with “boomer normie relatives.” The clip is accompanied by synthetic speech reading the post over music, making the escalating checklist feel deadpan and deliberately overdramatic.

• @gentoomemes / 5434 2023-07-25