Fuck Everything, Five Level Paging

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Level Paging Published February 18, 2018 Brian Krzanich CEO and President, Intel Corporation Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of compute in this country. The Intel Pentium was the processor to own. Then the other guy came out with an in-house compatible processor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because he hit back with a little thing called Physical Address Extensions. That's three levels of page tables and 64-bit entries. For address space. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four level paging. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three levels and IA-32. Page directory pointers or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five levels. Sure, we could go to four levels next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe. Let's extend to 48-bit addresses and call it Enhanced IA-32e mode. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!

A parody business-news article shows Brian Krzanich of Intel dramatically explaining the company’s decision to move from three-level to five-level paging. The joke treats a technical architecture change like an angry corporate meltdown, mocking Intel’s supposed strategy of following competitors instead of innovating; it is used as a reaction to needless overengineering or resigned escalation. EN: A parody business-news article shows Brian Krzanich of Intel dramatically explaining the company’s decision to move from three-level to five-level paging. The joke treats a technical architecture change like an angry corporate meltdown, mocking Intel’s supposed strategy of following competitors instead of innovating; it is used as a reaction to needless overengineering or resigned escalation.

• @gentoomemes / 3489 2023-03-30