Dragon Age Review Contract

EA/BioWare LEGAL DOCUMENT Dragon Age: The Veilguard Review Contract The undersigned [outlet or reviewer name] __________ agrees to the following terms for receiving a review code for Dragon Age: The Veilguard. This document is not to be shared or tweeted. Breaking of this agreement may result in the refusal of future codes or up to five years in prison. 1) We know this is a great game and it should be reviewed as such. In accordance with that statement of fact, your review must include the phrases “BioWare is back baby!” “This Dragon has aged well!” and “Baldur’s who?” Exact phrasing must be used. 2) As a part of our Creator Cabal program you are eligible for these reward tiers • 10/10 score - $800 and Dragon Age desk chair • 9/10 score - $300 and Garrus Vakarian mousepad • 8/10 score - $50 and Antheм keychain • 1-7/10 score - $200 fine and industry blacklist. 3) Do’s and Don’ts - Do NOT mention Baldur’s Gate 3 - Do NOT make comparisons to past Dragon Age games (unless positive) - Do NOT mention any similarities to Mass Effect (unless positive) - Do NOT wait until SkillUp publishes his video to form your opinion - Do NOT mention Baldur’s Gate 3 4) We know Dragon Age: The Veilguard deals with many “hot button” cultural issues. In order to maintain an atmosphere of safety and trust please do not use the words or phrases: “BioWoke, WokeWare, Electronic Woke, Woketronic Arts, Dragon Woke, Woke Age, Dragon Age: The Wokeguard.” 5) YouTube thumbnails for review coverage may only contain “excited” or “happy” creator faces. “Crying”, “confused” or “disappointed” faces are prohibited. Green arrows are encouraged. Red Xs are disallowed. I, the named party, understand these terms and will abide under penalty of death. Signature ____________________ Date __________ We look forward to working you!

A fake EA/BioWare legal document lays out absurd rules for reviewing Dragon Age: The Veilguard, including mandatory praise, rewards for high scores, bans on criticism and forbidden “woke” terminology. The joke mocks alleged game-review influence, publisher favoritism, and the expectation that critics must praise a major release while avoiding comparisons to Baldur’s Gate 3 and Mass Effect. EN: A fake EA/BioWare legal document lays out absurd rules for reviewing Dragon Age: The Veilguard, including mandatory praise, rewards for high scores, bans on criticism and forbidden “woke” terminology. The joke mocks alleged game-review influence, publisher favoritism, and the expectation that critics must praise a major release while avoiding comparisons to Baldur’s Gate 3 and Mass Effect.

• @memetutorial / 18928 2024-10-31