Never Have I Ever Absurd Checklist

NEVER HAVE I EVER 1 point for each eaten jewelry borrowed toast slept with a ghost built a drug tunnel Windex’d bacon smoked a Bible cover prank called an owl got called White Oprah grew peppercorns cauterized a hot dog milked a spider summoned Cthulhu lived as Madonna gargled a bird egg taught basket-weaving invented dice married a sock puppet had a third salad drank a dirt smoothie reshingled a snake de-fanged a sandworm killed John Lennon been an octopus traded skin with a bear

A parody “Never Have I Ever” checklist presents increasingly bizarre and impossible experiences, from eating jewelry and sleeping with a ghost to summoning Cthulhu and trading skin with a bear. The joke is the absurd escalation and the deadpan scoring format, making it useful as a reaction to an unusually strange life story or situation.

• @memetutorial / 14046 2021-01-08