You Need to Piss, Alan

I'M ...FINE. THE FUCK, DO YOU WATCH ME PISS? ALRIGHT. LOOK. AND IF JUST UP AND SHIT MYSELF, THEN HARDING WILL STILL GET ME, AND KNOW THAT HE SHIT HIMSELF RIGHT BEFORE HE DIED. ARE YA HAPPY? ...YOU NEED TO PISS, ALAN.

A dark, eerie video shows a forested landscape while a small inset avatar delivers an increasingly defensive monologue about being watched, shitting himself, and dying before ending with the blunt line, “You need to piss, Alan.” The joke comes from the absurd escalation and the anticlimactic personal interruption, making it useful as a surreal reaction to someone avoiding an obvious need or problem. EN: A dark, eerie video shows a forested landscape while a small inset avatar delivers an increasingly defensive monologue about being watched, shitting himself, and dying before ending with the blunt line, “You need to piss, Alan.” The joke comes from the absurd escalation and the anticlimactic personal interruption, making it useful as a surreal reaction to someone avoiding an obvious need or problem.

Let me know when you need to go to the bathroom. I'll take watch. I'm fine. What do you mean you're fine? I haven't seen you piss all day, dude. Fuck, do you watch me piss? No! Stop deflecting! Alright, look. If I go to the bathroom, he'll get me, okay? And if I just up and shit myself, then Harding will still get me, and my mom will have to go to my funeral and look down on her boy, and know that he shit himself right before he died. So yeah, I'm gonna fucking hold it. Are you happy? You need to piss, Alan.

• @eternalclassic / 65480 2025-02-21