Billionaires and Illegal Activities

BILLIONAIRES NOT-SO-LEGAL ACTIVITIES. IT NEEDS A SHITLOAD THEM FROM WILL BE OUR COMPANIES "BUT WON'T BECAUSE SO NOW YOU'RE LAUNDERING THIS VIDEO IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM ADVOCATES OR SUPPORTS ANY KIND OF ILLEGAL ACTIVITY. ALL CONCEPTS EXPLORED ARE PURELY FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, IN A SATIRICAL MANNER.

A satirical animated explainer uses simple stick figures and diagrams to joke that billionaires need a huge amount of excrement from companies, then implies money laundering when the baffled character asks why. Jeff Bezos represents billionaires, and the overly serious legal disclaimer heightens the absurdity. Nujabes’s mellow, jazzy instrumental track “Aruarian Dance” creates a relaxed contrast with the increasingly suspicious illegal-activity punchline, making the joke feel deliberately deadpan.

Are you so obsessed with space? Like what the f*** do you guys want to do on Mars? Well, we do it for our passion. And the money laundering too. What? Yeah. Joining space programs is one of the easiest ways to launder your money. How does that work? It's simple. Let's say I have $100 million from not-so-legal activities. If I start spending it, the government can track it, and a certain someone might get involved. Instead, we'll funnel it through a space company. But how does that clean my money? Because space is expensive as f***. If your company spends millions of dollars every single day, no one's gonna care. Because it's literally space. It needs a shitload of money. That's why we'll take our legal cash and report it as legit investments for the company. What happens after that? Next, we'll start buying as many things as we can. Engines, launch pads, rocket fuel, sh** like that. We'll even buy stuff we don't need. Why would we do that? Because the places we buy them from will be our companies too. Wait, what? That's right. We'll secretly own every supplier company that sells rocket parts to us. So we're just paying ourselves? Exactly. On paper, it looks like our space company is spending millions on rocket parts. But in reality, the money is just bouncing between companies we already control. But won't someone ask where that money went? That's the best part. We'll fake a rocket crash. Let's say the engine failed. Or maybe the system malfunctioned. The rocket blew up, the parts are gone, and because of that, the money is gone. So on paper, we just lost millions of dollars. Isn't that suspicious? Not really. Because no one understands space, and as long as your rockets keep crashing and your research stays confidential, there's nothing to investigate. Won't the government find out? They won't. In fact, they'll probably pay you. Governments love space programs. You can get tax breaks, loans, and they might even invest in your company. So now, you're laundering money and getting rewarded for it. It's like hiding in plain sight. Holy s***. Exactly. You can even use words like science and research to describe your program, which will make Everyone clap for you and call you a visionary, but in reality, it's just you funneling a sh** ton of money. Welcome to the real world.

♪ Nujabes — Aruarian Dance

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