Is It Gay to Love Traps?

“Is it gay to love traps?” PLATO: “For a man to love traps is not gay by any measure, for traps embody the true form of feminine Beauty, which suffers no constraint by any earthly gender but is rather fulfilled in all feminine bodies regardless of their biological origins. For example, one might love and admire a statue of a woman, but we would never call such a person a statue-lover, for it is the form of the Female which is instantiated in the statue that this person admires; likewise with traps. We see that there are some who love traps but despise overly-masculine bodies, and for these people, it is not proper to speak of them as being gay at all, for the nature of gayness, if gayness were to exist, is the love of a gender which is the same as yours. This love is something which has its timeless origin in the domain of Forms before it could ever become instantiated in the world of bodies. Therefore, it is not gay to love traps, for one loves not the earthly body of a young boy but a transcendent Woman-Beauty that is fundamentally female in nature and completely incorporeal.” ARISTOTLE: “Suppose, for the sake of argument, that traps were just a species within the genus of women, just as “tall women” are. This would mean that traps are women, which makes it not gay for a man to love them. However, insofar as traps exist as a distinct species of women, it must be fundamentally gay to love them, for the differentia of a trap is the quality of “having been raised as a boy”. If one were to be a lover of tall women to the exclusion of women of other heights, we would say that this person is a lover of “tallness”. Likewise, if one were to love trap-women, to the exclusion of other women, we would say that this person is a lover of the differentiating quality of traps, which is “having been raised as boys, and hence that this person is straight in some ways, but also gay. For it is the differences between species from which we derive our definitions. So long as the distinction between trap-women and non-trap-women exists, it must be at least a little gay to love traps. And if it is at least a little bit gay to love traps, then it is certainly gay.” DIOGENES: “Lmao dude, who giveth a fuck about gender-distinctions when you can celebrate the wedding-hymn of your right hand to any person you want?”

A parody of an ancient philosophical debate shows Plato and Aristotle discussing whether it is gay for a man to love traps, while Diogenes dismisses the entire distinction and jokes about marrying his right hand. The punchline is the deliberately overcomplicated, pseudo-academic reasoning contrasted with Diogenes’ blunt masturbation joke. It is used as an absurd reaction meme for arguments that analyze a simple horny question far too seriously.

• @memetutorial / 6917 2017-06-01