Nearly Frozen Smart Water

My mom refuses to drink water if it doesn't meet certain requirements. It can't just be cold, it has to be nearly frozen. Like when you take a bottle of water out of the freezer after a little too long and it immediately freezes into a snowy slushy consistency. And it can't be tap water cooled down to that temperature. It has to be bottled water, specifically Oh, but it can't just be any brand of bottled water. It has to be alkaline water, filtered and vapor distilled. So she pretty much only drinks nearly-frozen Smart Water. But she won't drink it directly out of the bottle. How uncouth. No, the water must be served in a glass alongside whatever remains in the bottle. So, a full glass + a half-full bottle. But she won't pour it herself, someone else has to pour it for her, because chivalry. Oh, and it can't be served in just any glass. What are you, an animal? It has to be a water goblet. She will settle for a wine glass in a pinch, but that's about as far down the ladder as she'll go. My mother has been hospitalized for dehydration on 15 separate occasions throughout my lifetime. What disorder is this?

A 4chan-style post describes a mother with extremely elaborate rules for drinking water: it must be nearly frozen Smart Water, served in a goblet by someone else. The punchline is that her obsessive standards are so absurd that she repeatedly becomes dehydrated and hospitalized, prompting the sarcastic question about what disorder she has. It is shared as an absurd reaction to high-maintenance behavior and ridiculous personal requirements.

• @eternalclassic / 59263 2024-10-19