Theoretical Gorilla Gym Plan

>purchase home gym equipment or perhaps a gym itself >kidnap adolescent silverback gorilla from forest >allow gorilla to acclimate to new environment (the gym) >feed gorilla fruit and bamboo, small insects for protein >observe and take note of what gorilla’s favorite foods are >reward gorilla with his favorite food whenever it plays with weights >begin a pavlovian process using this method >encourage gorilla to work out more and more >every few months tranquilize the gorilla and increase weight on machines while providing more/heavier plates for free weights >eventually shift to engine blocks and broken down cars >the silverback gorilla can already bench press 4,000 pounds >with training i believe i could push my gorilla to at least 5,000 >begin to restrict diet and enrichment so gorilla gets antsy >drive gorilla to my ex’s house >inject with 100ccs of adrenaline and leave could this work theoretically

A 4chan-style greentext lays out an absurd plan to kidnap and train a silverback gorilla in a home gym until it can bench press thousands of pounds, then unleash it at the poster’s ex’s house. The joke is the escalating pseudo-scientific logic and ridiculous final revenge fantasy, presented as if it were a serious fitness experiment. EN: A 4chan-style greentext lays out an absurd plan to kidnap and train a silverback gorilla in a home gym until it can bench press thousands of pounds, then unleash it at the poster’s ex’s house. The joke is the escalating pseudo-scientific logic and ridiculous final revenge fantasy, presented as if it were a serious fitness experiment.

• @deenya_md / 3139 2023-09-20