The Ham Monolith

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed, I don't want it." Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in His kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.

На протяжении ролика на белом фоне показан огромный гладкий розовый блок ветчины. Синтезированный голос начинает с обычного вопроса о переработанном мясе, а затем превращает описание деликатесной ветчины в всё более драматичный монолог о мерзости, богохульстве и презрении человечества к природе. Панчик в том, что после космически пафосного осуждения «мясного обелиска» продавец буднично предлагает вариант с пониженным содержанием натрия; ролик отправляют как абсурдную реакцию на что-то чрезмерное или неестественное. EN: Throughout the clip, a huge smooth pink block of ham is shown against a white background. A synthesized voice starts with an ordinary question about processed meat, then turns the description of deli ham into an increasingly dramatic monologue about abomination, blasphemy, and humanity’s contempt for nature. The punchline is that after this grandiose condemnation of the “meat obelisk,” the seller casually offers a lower-sodium variety; people send it as an absurd reaction to something excessive or unnatural.

Is that ham processed? If it's processed, I don't want it. Ma'am, that is an 11-pound-hole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation

• @eternalclassic / 47089 2024-02-29