Peter Griffin Explains Everything

hey guys, peter griffin is back again and i gotta say, wow jimmy! thank you for explaining what i mean and making it a lot more clear! i really appreciate it. say, while i'm thinking about it, maybe i can go more into depth about why i keep explaining things. see, when i was but a little girly my uncle kept trying to force feed me a tiny thanksgiving get together. i didn't want him to force feed me that turkey so i had to explain why i didn't want him to force feed me that turkey. because of that, i have gotten into a really bad habit of explaining absolutely everything lately, the craze has been too explain memes. people seem to love it, so i keep doing it and since it fuels my habit i keep doing it. i just want you guys to know that i really appreciate that you guys find me explanations amusing, despite the fact that they are from what almost feels like a school hamster play from my uncle from a thanksgiving that was like 20 years ago now. if there's another thing i want to add, i'd be that i want to keep my legacy of explaining things like this i didn't keep my habit up, feelings of depression and sadness would start to kick in, and if i didn't do a good job at repressing my suicidal tendencies, i could just end up dead. after lois left and took the kids, i've had nothing in me being serious. i have nothing - i lost my job at the brewery, my friends hate me. my penis shrunk by 3 inches. i just can't do anything anymore. so instead of doing anything the way normal humans would do it, i spend my time sitting inside macdonalds hogging the wifi to write witty explanations to internet memes. interesting, right? i sure think so, at least. i still remember what lois said to me the day she divorced me. “PETER YOU FAT FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG TO YOU? IF YOU DON'T QUIT BEING FAT AND GAY I WILL MURDER THE BRIAN DOG I WILL KILL YOU FUCK WHAT THE FUCK AAHGHGHGHGHGHGHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” and that where i just laid down on the floor and started crying. i said hi, peter griffin here, this is a scary situation because lois is saying that she wants to kill me and possibly leave me. i'm not too sure if she'll take the kids but if she does i don't know what i'll do! so, that was that. about a week after lois actually left, i woke up one morning and found a note on the table, i opened it, and when i opened it the note read: “we the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” at first i was confused, why did she write down the preamble to the constitution, but i think that's that weird. wait until she wrote on the BACK of the paper when i flipped the paper over, this is what it said: this part is kind of long, i put a red star at the end if you want to skip it “Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, i thought i would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. it is a way i have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral i meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they can keep him, almost a whole degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.” and i was like 'holy crap' why'd she the first paragraph to the book moby dick by herman melville? that's so weird and un-epic after i did some research, i think it has something to do with my penis. i'm not too sure what exactly that's supposed to mean, in terms of the preamble to the constitution, i have no idea. as far as i'm concerned lois is just some crazy bitch. because lets face it, it makes absolutely no sense for someone to just randomly write down the preamble to the constitution and the first paragraph to moby dick and then leave it for their husband after divorcing them. doesn't that just seem odd? well, anyway, thank you again jimmy for your crystal clear and definitely not convoluted explanation of my explanation. the fact that anyone would go out of their way to do that for me means a lot. i really appreciate it. if you ever need a friend or a shoulder to cry on, let me know. my phone number is 1-800-PTR-GRFN. yes i had that custom made, and don't ask where. he runs a super private business. i paid a lot of money for it. i'm not too sure what to tell the rest of this with my favorite home man john. i really hope you stop making fun of me and I will you leave. it's just asking is really a story with the best technology at your disposal. “It's just a hard, staying happy marbled as i do this.” "It's always a combination of physics and poetry that i find inspiring. It's hard to wrap your head around things like the Hubble scope." "I've made over 20 movies, and 5 of them are good." "My favorite traditional Christmas movie that i like to watch is All Quiet on the Western Front. It's just not December without that movie in my house." "And I'm not apolitical - I'm very specific in my politics. But a lot of the time it's nobody's business unless you're over at my house having dinner." "At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think." "Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better." god i love tom hanks. he's freakin epic

Питер Гриффин изображён рядом с огромным блоком мелкого текста, где он бессвязно и чрезмерно подробно объясняет происхождение своей привычки объяснять мемы. Шутка построена на абсурдном смешении депрессивной исповеди, случайных цитат из Конституции США, «Моби Дика» и высказываний Тома Хэнкса, поэтому мем используют как реакцию на чрезмерные объяснения и бессмысленный поток текста. EN: Peter Griffin is shown beside a huge block of tiny text in which he ramblingly and excessively explains the origin of his habit of explaining memes. The joke comes from absurdly mixing a depressive confession, random quotations from the U.S. Constitution, Moby-Dick, and Tom Hanks quotes, so the meme is used as a reaction to overexplaining and meaningless walls of text.

• @eternalclassic / 41305 2023-11-04