My Gym Rival Is My Arch Nemesis

I hate my gym rival. That fucker is my arch nemesis >sees me going to the water fountain, rushes in front of me to use it first. i do the same back to him. >constantly saying shit like "wow i guess im the only one with good form" very loudly in an empty gym >have seen him steal my pre-workout >decides to stretch in front of me at every opportunity, loudly groaning in order to distract me from my lift >has brought a fucking hornet to the gym and released it near me while i was squatting >simultaneously hits on the receptionist and shit talks me to her >puts my weights back on the rack when im in between sets >takes pictures of me and posts them on his facebook >stole my license plate and put it in the womens locker room >says hubba hubba hubba when he sees i am using the mirror >asks to work in then bails immediately once he puts his weights on >doing weird shit like cartwheels constantly >does that stupid thing where you flick your cheek to make it sound like a rain drop >calls me big guy and fella I would have changed my schedule if not for my absolute hatred for this man. Our fight is the only thing that fuels me. I need him to fall.

В тексте рассказчик описывает абсурдную вражду с соперником в спортзале, который постоянно мешает ему, провоцирует его и совершает всё более нелепые пакости. Шутка в преувеличении обычного соперничества до уровня смертельной ненависти: их конфликт настолько мотивирует рассказчика, что он продолжает ходить в спортзал только ради победы над врагом. EN: The narrator describes an absurd feud with a gym rival who constantly bothers him, provokes him, and commits increasingly ridiculous acts of sabotage. The joke is the exaggeration of ordinary gym competition into mortal hatred: their conflict motivates the narrator so much that he keeps going to the gym solely to defeat his enemy.

• @eternalclassic / 38357 2023-09-07