Forever Alone After Goth Girlfriend

>be me, 16, looking for a gf >notice a big tiddy goth girl, she later approaches me and we end up dating (no sex) for a little bit >once she gets comfortable, she starts talking about how she was raped in the past and also starts insulting my appearance (e.g. "you aren't the best looking person but..") >feel like absolute shit but hang in there because I'm naive and she's a big tiddy goth gf >she dumps me on the valentines day of that year >in shambles, but manage to pick myself up and keep on asking out other girls >spend next few years getting rejection after rejection while big tiddy goth girl eventually gets with a 7 foot qigqachad >eventually meet a cute art student girl through a friend group who genuinely understands my issues and shares a lot of the same mental quirks >agree to meet at a park nearby and head out for coffee >arrive, see no one else there >foreveralone.jpg >get knocked to the ground and kicked in the ribs >look up, see elderly Chinese man wielding a Mauser >forces me to play MAHJONG at gunpoint or I'll be banished to the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) forever.

A 16-year-old narrator recounts a disastrous series of romantic experiences, ending with him being attacked and forced to play mahjong by an elderly Chinese man with a Mauser. The joke escalates from an exaggerated incel-style dating story into surreal, racist absurdity, parodying greentext storytelling and the “forever alone” punchline. It is used as an absurd reaction to an impossibly unlucky or bizarre chain of events. EN: A 16-year-old narrator recounts a disastrous series of romantic experiences, ending with him being attacked and forced to play mahjong by an elderly Chinese man with a Mauser. The joke escalates from an exaggerated incel-style dating story into surreal, racist absurdity, parodying greentext storytelling and the “forever alone” punchline. It is used as an absurd reaction to an impossibly unlucky or bizarre chain of events.

• @eternalclassic / 37246 2023-08-15