Friendly Neighborhood Spider Man

I carry a box of spiders with my in my backpack. Been doing this for several years since I started living in a bad neighborhood. I’m a really nice guy so people think I’m an easy target. Every time a street gang comes up to me while I’m walking to work and back and tries to assault me I stay calm and collected with a smile on my face. Then I throw my box of spiders at them. They get covered in spiders. Some are venomous, some are not, idc. I collect them from my basement where I let them breed. No weapon in the world is as effective as hundreds of spiders crawling all over a person. The screams those thugs make brings a smile to my face. Now I carry them as a backup but nobody has bothered to mess with me for a year. Everyone knows now not to fuck with the friendly neighborhood Spider Man holy based

A forum post describes a seemingly harmless man who carries a box of breeding spiders in his backpack and throws them at gangs that try to assault him. The absurd punchline is that his extreme spider-based defense makes the neighborhood fear him, parodying Spider-Man’s “friendly neighborhood” identity. A reply calls the story “holy based,” meaning it approves of the bizarre and brutal solution. EN: A forum post describes a seemingly harmless man who carries a box of breeding spiders in his backpack and throws them at gangs that try to assault him. The absurd punchline is that his extreme spider-based defense makes the neighborhood fear him, parodying Spider-Man’s “friendly neighborhood” identity. A reply calls the story “holy based,” meaning it approves of the bizarre and brutal solution.

• @eternalclassic / 31630 2023-04-26