Shelob Looks Like Stoya

>>163755256 (OP) >Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider — descended from the vile Ungoliant! — which I used to read aloud of in our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what I didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in Ivanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right — make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a hæða ægce.

The image compares the monstrous spider Shelob from The Lord of the Rings video game with the adult actress Stoya, joking that Shelob’s humanoid form should look like her. The fake quotation humorously imagines J.R.R. Tolkien giving Christopher Tolkien absurdly specific instructions about a future video game adaptation. EN: The image compares the monstrous spider Shelob from The Lord of the Rings video game with the adult actress Stoya, joking that Shelob’s humanoid form should look like her. The fake quotation humorously imagines J.R.R. Tolkien giving Christopher Tolkien absurdly specific instructions about a future video game adaptation.

• @eternalclassic / 28180 2023-02-19