Multiple Things Wrong in Bed

lmao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed >I assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >I assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >I assumed that threatening to shit the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >I bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! fuck me before i go for a spin!'

A Wojak-style anonymous post describes a man realizing that his girlfriend did not dislike sex—he was simply making absurd and painfully misguided assumptions about what she enjoyed. The joke escalates through increasingly ridiculous misunderstandings and ends with a bizarre washing-machine fantasy, making it useful as a reaction to cluelessness, sexual incompetence, or an over-the-top confession. EN: A Wojak-style anonymous post describes a man realizing that his girlfriend did not dislike sex—he was simply making absurd and painfully misguided assumptions about what she enjoyed. The joke escalates through increasingly ridiculous misunderstandings and ends with a bizarre washing-machine fantasy, making it useful as a reaction to cluelessness, sexual incompetence, or an over-the-top confession.

• @eternalclassic / 18935 2022-09-04