Valve programmers' dwindling sanity

// This seems like a bad idea but it's fine for now // FIXME: This doesn't account for children of hierarchy... // Multithreading badness. This will cause a crash later! // I don't know why. I don't want to know why, // This is catastrophically bad, don't do this. // Kyle says: this is bad, dumb code, and more importantly it's bad dumb code that doesn't make any sense here, // HDRFIXME: This is some lame shit right here. // Aaaaaaaaaannndddd V_*extbinary has no return code. // Because nobody could *ever* possible attempt to parse bad data. // It could never possibly happen. the rapidly dwindling sanity of valve programmers as expressed through code comments

A slow scroll through Valve source code highlights increasingly exasperated programmer comments, from resigned workarounds to profanity and disbelief about impossible bugs. The grand, accelerating orchestral rendition of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” by The Metropolitan Philharmonic Orchestra turns the escalating comments into a dramatic descent into coding madness. Used as a reaction to terrible legacy code, rushed fixes, or a debugging session that keeps getting worse.

This seems like a bad idea but it's fine for now. Move it into place and resize. This is terrible, but VTUI has forced my hand. This doesn't account for children of hierarchy. Too bad. Bizarre vector flip inherited from earlier code, WTF. Multithreading badness. This will cause a crash later. Grab John S or met John No. This code didn't port easily. WTF does it do? I don't know why. I don't want to know why. I shouldn't have to wonder why. But for whatever reason this stupid panel isn't laying out correctly unless we do this terrible mess. Use an epsilon, dammit! This is catastrophically bad. Don't do this. Someone needs to fix this. Yes, this causes a memory leak. Too bad. This is bad dumb code and more importantly it's bad dumb code that doesn't make any sense here. My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write you a code again. This shit doesn't work. Why? As I ever? This is some lame shit right here. This is utterly fucking retarded. And V Underscore Hextbitery has no return code. code. Because nobody could ever possibly attempt to parse bad data. It could never possibly have

♪ The Metropolitan Philharmonic Orchestra — Peer Gynt, Op. 46, IV. In the Hall of the Mountain King (I Dovregubbens hall)

• @eternalclassic / 10600 2022-03-22