How to Use an 18-Inch Johnson

A pair of hands demonstrates a long, flexible dark metal device with a rectangular lock-like body on a gray tabletop. A deadpan narrator repeatedly calls it an “18 inch long Johnson” and describes inserting its hard shaft into front and rear openings, using deliberately sexual-sounding language for what appears to be a mundane object demonstration. The joke is the escalating double entendre and the final setup about the narrator’s father having an unusual Johnson; it works as an absurd, suggestive reaction video.

how does one use an 18 inch long Johnson? It's fairly simple. All you need to do is insert the tip of the shaft into this opening and press firmly. You'll note that while the shaft is fairly flexible it's also quite hard and that hardness is both intrinsic to the function and it greatly aids the insertion. Now one thing I immediately noticed with my new Johnson is that no matter how hard I pushed. I wasn't able to stuff more than about 6 to 8 inches into the opening. If you try to shove it in any farther you're likely going to do damage. You can however insert the Johnson in either the front or the rear opening. To get it in the rear you flip it over then insert the tip of the shaft that's usually the hard part then give it a solid shove to fully seat it. Once again inserting the Johnson more than about 6 to 8 inches into the rear hole risks damage, though you may be able to get in a bit farther with proper lubrication. Now, as you might imagine, I was quite proud of my new 18 inch Johnson, and when I received it I showed it to all of my friends and family, at least those who I could get to look. I was quite surprised when my father took me aside and revealed that he too had an unusual Johnson.

• @eternalclassic / 10401 2022-03-19