Electric Vehicle Dystopia

>forced to buy an electric vehicle >find out mother is in the hospital >wait 4 hours to charge car just so it can go 20 miles >wait 8-9 hours just for it to go 200 miles >EV finally finishes charging >has to update, it will take 40 mins depending on connection >update failed, restarting update and car wont even start >finally done, unplug EV and get ready to drive >voice comes on "there is a special covid alert today, you can only drive to your local store and back" >if you drive longer or over so many miles then your EV will shut off and a tow truck will be called at your own expense >press the agree button or the EV wont start >start to pull out of driveway >EV stops before you even hit the street >EV voice asks if you would like to turn on auto pilot to the store >you push yes >voice asks you sit sit and watch these new ads until the autopilot is finished loading and updating the route >finally are able to drive a bit but autopilot wants you to still hold the wheel >get to the store and get a phone call, mother is dying from the vax... i mean climate change >try to drive to hospital but car notices you are not following the assigned route >EV shuts down >tow truck called >you are on the EV's touch screen phone watching your mother die >your mother is about to tell you her dying last words when an ad interrupts the call >it's a 'get a booster' ad by pfizer

A greentext-style list imagines an electric-car owner trying to reach his mother in hospital, but the EV keeps charging, updating, restricting travel, forcing ads, and eventually shuts down. The joke is a paranoid dystopian exaggeration of complaints about EV range, software updates, COVID restrictions, vaccine messaging, and corporate control. It is used as a sarcastic reaction to technology becoming overly intrusive or unreliable.

• @eternalclassic / 10135 2022-03-14