Farting in Marcy’s Water Bottle

This is an update on my previous two posts from the last few days: Recap: 4 days ago I farted into my coworker ‘Marcy’s’ water bottle when she wasn’t in the room. When she came back and took a drink she didn’t seem to notice and also appeared to be in distress the rest of the afternoon. I have been farting in her reusable drink bottle and her Tupperware containers of food every day for well over a year and this was the first time I think she suspected something. Today I was called in to see my Boss before work and informed there was actually a small camera on the shelf in the break room which was set up several years ago to catch a former employee who was stealing other people’s lunches. I was fired on the spot and told that he had reviewed the footage as far back as last week and would be handing over the camera and it’s contents to the police and as Marcy was planning to press charges. It’s fucking over. Can I go to jail for this? I have never been in trouble with the police before other than a speeding fine when I was 19 - I’m 28 now. I’m starting to freak out this was a few hours ago. I got straight in my car and drove out of town a few hours away. Im fully expecting to be arrested if I decide to return home. It was just farting. What are the penalties this could carry? Help me anons

A screenshot of an anonymous forum post describes a man who has secretly farted into his coworker Marcy’s water bottle and food containers for over a year. He is caught on a hidden camera, fired, and panics that he may be arrested when Marcy threatens to press charges. The joke is the absurd escalation of a disgusting prank and the poster’s desperate attempt to treat it like a serious criminal case. EN: A screenshot of an anonymous forum post describes a man who has secretly farted into his coworker Marcy’s water bottle and food containers for over a year. He is caught on a hidden camera, fired, and panics that he may be arrested when Marcy threatens to press charges. The joke is the absurd escalation of a disgusting prank and the poster’s desperate attempt to treat it like a serious criminal case.

• @eternalclassic / 2451 2021-11-02