Drunk Driver Avoids Crisis

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me >23 days ago >driving drunk as fuck, run a red light, ram into a fucking cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as shit >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

A smiling man appears beside a 4chan-style greentext story about driving extremely drunk, crashing into a police car, and then stabbing himself to fabricate an excuse. The absurd punchline is that the plan works well enough for the officer to take him to the hospital, so the narrator considers the crisis avoided. It is used as a reaction to reckless decisions, bizarre problem-solving, or narrowly escaping consequences.

• @eternalclassic / 1573 2021-10-17