30+ NEET Birthday Disaster

So my fellow 30+ NEETS who live at home... how did your 30th birthday go? >Woke up the morning of my birthday >Walked downstairs >Parents both in the kitchen >They want to remain cheery even though they are both in their mid 60's and have never seen their only son have a job >Mom sees me >Haaaaaaappyyy birthday son! Close your eyes!" >close my eyes >open them son and see your surprise!' >open my eyes >two small piles of flour on the table and no cake >I laugh and ask what is going on >my mother snaps >seriously the angriest I have ever seen her >Your cake is in the oven. It sits in the dark oven all day not going outside while the flour that made it wonders where it went wrong' >she doesnt sound cheery anymore >dad just sits staring at me the entire time >I try not to break down >slowly open the oven, sure enough a cake is there >take it to my room >eat it by myself >it was a shitty cake >go back down later that day, parents acting like nothing happened, flour swept off the table >they sing happy birthday to me I know they hate me. I am 32 now and have had 1 job in 11 years and that was 4 months in a potato chip packing factory last year but I got fired because I bought my own paprika to work and tried to sprinkle it into random packets because I like paprika chips and wanted some more on the supermarket shelves.

A green Pepe-like frog tells a long, bleak story about celebrating his 30th birthday while living at home and being unemployed. His parents try to make a cake, but the flour piles and his mother’s sudden anger turn the birthday into an absurdly depressing family scene. The punchline is that he concludes his parents hate him and reveals he is now 32, with a disastrous work history ending in a bizarre paprika-related firing. This is shared as a reaction to extreme NEET isolation, parental disappointment, awkward birthdays, or darkly comic personal failure.

• @eternalclassic / 1268 2021-10-12