The Mighty Pasta Beast

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST and breadsticks are its BONES ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins its organs are CALZONES LASAGNA plate sits armored hide and should the hero dare you'll find the noisome Jaws are strung with garlic angel hair The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it: • Amazing Grace • Pokemon theme song • Gilligan's Island theme • House of the Rising Sun • Little Town of Bethlehem • Joy to the World Feel free to add any favorites! Full scansion: we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST and bread/sticks are / its BONES ALFREDO FLOWS / inside its veins its organs are / CALZONES LASAGNA plate sits / armored hide and should / the he/ro dare you'll find the / noisome Jaws are strung with gar/lic angel hair metrical form: common hymn meter (iambic tetrameter / iambic trimeter, or iambic heptameter) rhyme scheme: ABCB This is some Lewis Carrol-tier shit

A fake heroic hymn describes hunting a monstrous pasta beast made of lasagna, breadsticks, Alfredo sauce, and calzones. The joke is the absurdly serious poetic treatment of Italian food, followed by a painstaking scansion and list of possible hymn melodies. It works as a reaction to overengineered poetry, ridiculous food metaphors, or someone taking a silly idea far too seriously.

• @rzeczyzabawne / 19733 2025-01-30