911 Call Bottle Emergency

911 CALL: PARADISE PD EMERGENCY SERVICE OPERATOR: “9” OPERATOR: “What?” CALLER: “My wife and I belong to a who” OPERATOR: “Uh-huh.” CALLER: “We were in the shower and we p” OPERATOR: “Your wife put the bottle in...” CALLER: “Um in my um, in my” OPERATOR: “Are you alright?” CALLER: “Oh yeah y” OPERATOR: “Uh the a” OPERATOR: “The bottle?” CALLER: “I think I’m gonna sneeze.” OPERATOR: “Is that bad?” CALLER: “Ahhh [sneezes]. [bottle drops] Hey it came out. Oh no where’s the cap?”

A fake 911 emergency-service call is presented as a news-style text transcript. A caller says that a large conditioner bottle was inserted during a shower, then sneezes and dislodges it, only to worry about where the cap went; the absurdly calm delivery and escalating misunderstanding create the punchline. The clip is shared as an absurd, crude reaction to unexpectedly serious-sounding situations that turn ridiculous.

911 what's your emergency there's a bottle of conditioner in me what my wife and I belong to a wholesale club and got a really big Bottle of mother Jeffrey's male hair conditioner, huh? We were in the shower and we put it in me and but it went all the way in your wife put the bottle in In my My behind we're gonna send an ambulance. Can you wait? Yeah, are you all right? Oh, yeah? I was just a little surprised. I would be surprised too. I'm sorry one second sweetie Can you please get the cat out of here? The ambulance is about four minutes away. Oh no, I can really feel it. Zottle? I think I'm gonna see it. Is that bad? Oh no! Hey, it came out. Now where's the cat?

• @sbunem / 28766 2022-09-13