Alphabet of Things That Kill You

E I POLLUTION X

A black-and-white animated skeleton in a top hat presents an unsettling alphabet lesson about everyday dangers, while a pale child sits at a bar and later wanders through a forest. The synthesized musical recitation lists harmful foods, dehydration, insects, pollution, and other hazards from A onward, ending with the absurd conclusion that danger is unavoidable and everyone will die. The cheerful educational format and deadpan delivery make the dark subject matter funny and macabre. EN: A black-and-white animated skeleton in a top hat presents an unsettling alphabet lesson about everyday dangers, while a pale child sits at a bar and later wanders through a forest. The synthesized musical recitation lists harmful foods, dehydration, insects, pollution, and other hazards from A onward, ending with the absurd conclusion that danger is unavoidable and everyone will die. The cheerful educational format and deadpan delivery make the dark subject matter funny and macabre.

In life, you have choices. They're healthy and not. And sometimes it's tricky to choose what you ought. So if you are wondering what make you ill, it's easy to know because everything will. A is for alcohol, source of addiction, liver diseases and other afflictions. So how about water? That might be okay. But if it's in plastic, there's B. BPA. C is for corn syrup, soda pop uses, and also for carbs found in sugary juices. D. dehydration. You still have to drink, though all these beverages seem like they stink. Eating too little or too much to count? E is for eating imperfect amounts. And eating some things that you shouldn't consume cause dozens of dishes will lead to your doom. F is for fried food that's filled up with fat, gluten for G. If you buy into that. H is for hot dogs, who knows how they're made. I for insecticide, veggies are sprayed. J is for jerky, with way too much salt. And K is for kale, it's also at fault. But isn't it healthy? I'm glad that you asked. Cabbage and kale make thyroids too fast. Forget about eating, I'll just go outside. For that is where even more dangers can hide. L is for line disease, carried by ticks. Malaria, M, that mosquitoes inflict. N, N diethyl M toluamide. It kills all the bugs, and it kills urine sites. O is for oxygenless recreation. P for pollution in each inhalation. Q is for quicksilver. Fishing is wrecked. C is for zealotry, any insistence that you found the key to eternal existence. You can't avoid danger, just go on and try. No matter your actions, you're still gonna die.

• @sbunem / 4520 2020-02-29