The Super-Secure Firewall

WHAT THE...? HEY, YOUR COMPUTER IS ACTING FUNNY. YEAH, I GOT TIRED OF BEING SNOOPED ON BY GOVERNMENT AGENCIES. SO I CREATED A NEW SUPER-SECURE FIREWALL. IT EMPLOYS A SOPHISTICATED ARTIFICIAL NEURAL NETWORK TO LEARN THE CHARACTERISTICS OF OUTGOING PACKETS THAT ARE OF A HIGH PROBABILITY OF BEING VULNERABLE TO SURVEILLANCE, AND IT DYNAMICALLY UPDATES THE FILTERING RULES ACCORDINGLY. IT'S 100% EFFECTIVE. AIN'T NOBODY SNOOPIN' ON THIS GUY. YEAH, BUT THERE'S LIKE NO INTERNET CONNECTION AT ALL. UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECT.

A woman notices that her computer is acting strangely while a man explains that he built a super-secure firewall using an artificial neural network to block surveillance. The firewall is completely effective because it blocks all internet traffic, making the computer impossible to snoop on but also useless online. The joke mocks overengineered cybersecurity solutions whose extreme security defeats their actual purpose. EN: A woman notices that her computer is acting strangely while a man explains that he built a super-secure firewall using an artificial neural network to block surveillance. The firewall is completely effective because it blocks all internet traffic, making the computer impossible to snoop on but also useless online. The joke mocks overengineered cybersecurity solutions whose extreme security defeats their actual purpose.

• @infosecmemes / 481 2020-11-29