The Impossible Paper Towel Math

Regular math 12 = 22 MEGA ROLLS REGULAR ROLLS Choose-A-Sheet LIKE GETTING TWO MORE ROLLS 6 = 10 BIG ROLLS REGULAR ROLLS LIKE GETTING 2 MORE ROLLS 30 MEGA = 56 REGULAR ROLLS SOMETIMES A MEGA ROLL = 186% OF REGULAR ROLL 15 = 21 26 15 = 22 BUT WAIT 6 = 11 MEGA ROLLS REGULAR ROLLS 6 = 10 BIG ROLLS REGULAR ROLLS 6 = 9 MEGA ROLLS REGULAR ROLLS

A fast-paced video compares Scott paper towel packages and repeatedly converts mega rolls and big rolls into inconsistent numbers of regular rolls. The increasingly absurd packaging math culminates in “BUT WAIT” and a 6-mega-roll package that supposedly equals 9 regular rolls, while the narrator gives up because the towel problem now needs something stronger. The joke is heightened by the ominous, accelerating classical music “In the Hall of the Mountain King” by The Metropolitan Philharmonic Orchestra, turning ordinary shopping arithmetic into a dramatic crisis.

There's regular math, theoretical math, and then there's the math we apply to all of these absolutely real and I swear to God not photoshop packages of Scott paper towels. Let's break it down. If you buy 12 mega rolls of Scott paper towels, that's actually like 22 regular rolls, which now follow me here, is like getting two more rolls for free. Not 10, but two somehow. Now if you decide to go with the 6 mega roll package, well that's like 11 regular rolls, meaning it's like getting one more for free. It just makes sense! Don't mix up mega rolls and big rolls because 6 big rolls is equal to 10 regular rolls, which is like getting two more rolls for free. Got it? 6 big rolls is like 10 regular rolls, which is 2 more than 6, and 6 mega rolls is like 11, which is 1 more than 6. Got it? Now just so we're clear, 15 mega rolls is like 22 regular rolls because apparently sometimes a mega roll is 146% the size of a regular roll. But 30 mega rolls is like 56 regular rolls because apparently sometimes a mega roll is 186% the size of a regular roll. Except when it's a big roll you see 15 big rolls equals 26 regular rolls because sometimes big rolls are a hundred and seventy-three percent besides of a regular roll which is funny because that's 27% bigger than a Mega roll if it is a mega roll that comes in a package of 15 And do you remember when I said 15 mega rolls is like 22 rolls because look out according to this other packaging 15 mega rolls is actually equal to 28 regular rolls meaning that in this packaging each mega roll is 40% bigger compared to the other packaging that is also 15 mega rolls But wait! Remember how I said 6 Mega Rolls was like 11 regular rolls and 6 big rolls was like 10 regular rolls? Well, I left out the fact that when you've got 6 Mega Rolls with quick absorbing ridges, unlike these sad, pathetic, regular absorbing ridges, that is like 9 regular rolls. But without the packaging helping me understand how many additional regular rolls I'm getting, I have no idea. And the thing I was hoping to wipe up is now dry and will require something stronger than a paper towel.

♪ The Metropolitan Philharmonic Orchestra — Peer Gynt, Op. 46, IV. In the Hall of the Mountain King (I Dovregubbens hall)

• @pokupkabitka / 13654 2022-08-23