The 17-Inch Morning Routine

buck teeth like a rabbit Stare tan like a bigger >forehead as huge as the moon >who the fuck wears ankle bracelets >slopsided her >no tits >fat as fuck 2/10 ugly as fuck jmmys a cunt fuck up cunt jmmys a cunt check out the chick in jmmys profile picture, and he calls her bad I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and my pores emit the manliest cologne possible. I got in my 2034 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having her penetrate her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. I landed in Ghana, and ended the drought. I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scarred off my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around Melbourne, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back and did a triple backflip into my Maserati. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside, to type this to you lovelies. Be honored.

A Facebook-style screenshot shows a woman posing in a blue outfit beside a long thread of crude comments. The joke is the absurdly boastful copypasta, which escalates into impossible sexual, athletic, and physical claims and is posted as exaggerated internet trolling. EN: A Facebook-style screenshot shows a woman posing in a blue outfit beside a long thread of crude comments. The joke is the absurdly boastful copypasta, which escalates into impossible sexual, athletic, and physical claims and is posted as exaggerated internet trolling.

• @pokupkabitka / 3623 2022-03-29