The Worst Tech Resume Timeline

Head of Sports Streaming Infrastructure Netflix Jul 2024 - Present · 5 mos Lead a team of 30 engineers to ensure that all live sports events run smoothly with minimum buffering and viewing disruptions. Software Release Manager CrowdStrike Mar 2024 - Jul 2024 · 5 mos Managed team of 20 that creates content updates for Microsoft hosts. Our work directly impacts over 1 billion Microsoft devices. Manager, Gemini Team Google Apr 2023 - Feb 2024 · 11 mos Managed 60-person team responsible for AI-generated images of historical figures (e.g. Founding Fathers). Lead Software Engineer Silicon Valley Bank Oct 2022 - Mar 2023 · 6 mos Software Engineer FTX Oct 2020 - Sep 2022 · 2 yrs

A LinkedIn-style resume lists a software engineer’s suspiciously disastrous career history: Netflix sports streaming, CrowdStrike updates affecting Microsoft devices, Google’s Gemini image generation, Silicon Valley Bank, and FTX. The joke is that each job is connected to a major corporate failure or controversy, making the candidate look like the person responsible for every tech disaster. It is used as a reaction to someone whose track record seems impossibly unlucky or harmful. EN: A LinkedIn-style resume lists a software engineer’s suspiciously disastrous career history: Netflix sports streaming, CrowdStrike updates affecting Microsoft devices, Google’s Gemini image generation, Silicon Valley Bank, and FTX. The joke is that each job is connected to a major corporate failure or controversy, making the candidate look like the person responsible for every tech disaster. It is used as a reaction to someone whose track record seems impossibly unlucky or harmful.

• @ithueti / 14595 2024-11-18