Man Dies Waiting for Eclipse

Man Dies Waiting for Eclipse to Launch A software engineer in San Jose, CA was found dead at his desk yesterday, apparently having died while waiting for his Java editing program, Eclipse, to finish its boot process. Coworkers say the engineer came in that morning vowing to "get Eclipse working on his box or die trying." The last thing anyone heard him say aloud was the cryptic comment: "I see the splash screen is appropriately blue." Nobody knows what he meant. The man was then thought to have fallen asleep, but hours later it was discovered that the engineer had died suddenly of apparent natural causes. The forensic team's investigation that evening was reportedly interrupted unexpectedly when the dead man's Eclipse program suddenly finished launching. The team tried to interact with it to see if they could find clues about the man's death, but the program was unresponsive and the machine ultimately had to be rebooted. At this time, the police commissioner says there is no evidence of foul play, and they currently believe the man simply died of either boredom or frustration.

A fake newspaper-style report describes a software engineer who dies while waiting for the Java development environment Eclipse to launch. The punchline is that the program finally finishes launching during the investigation, but remains unresponsive and forces a reboot, parodying the extreme slowness and frustration associated with old development software. EN: A fake newspaper-style report describes a software engineer who dies while waiting for the Java development environment Eclipse to launch. The punchline is that the program finally finishes launching during the investigation, but remains unresponsive and forces a reboot, parodying the extreme slowness and frustration associated with old development software.

• @ithueti / 12087 2024-03-07