France Rebuilds the Empire

HAPPEN EMPIRE TODAY? WHO THEY WOULD THE NEXT WHAT THEY WANT GERMANY NEXT WOULD DO SURRENDER

An animated map of Europe imagines France trying to rebuild the French Empire today. France quickly takes Belgium, Luxembourg gives up to avoid war, and Germany becomes the next target; the punchline is that France ultimately does what it is stereotypically joked about doing best—surrendering. The dramatic map progression and music make the historical-geopolitical joke feel like an over-the-top strategy-game scenario. EN: An animated map of Europe imagines France trying to rebuild the French Empire today. France quickly takes Belgium, Luxembourg gives up to avoid war, and Germany becomes the next target; the punchline is that France ultimately does what it is stereotypically joked about doing best—surrendering. The dramatic map progression and music make the historical-geopolitical joke feel like an over-the-top strategy-game scenario.

What would happen if France tried to bring back the French Empire today? First thing they would have to do is attack Belgium, who they would easily take over. Since Luxembourg would be the next target, they would just give up, giving France what they want in exchange for peace. France would have to attack Germany next, and since they would be a strong enemy, the French would do the one thing they are best at. And that would be to surrender.

• @antichirst / 19624 2025-05-20