Lockheed TikTok Is Wild

Lockheed's tiktok is wild... I JUST TFW the new $830m defense budget drops GRWM Drone Operator then I eat my breakfast that's the wrong War is dope - prove me wrong your second @ owes you some sloppy 😏 Did you know these hacks??? AN/APG-5? System READ MORE Apache Fire Control READ MORE

A fast-cut TikTok-style parody presents defense contractors and military technology as if they were trendy lifestyle content: a man poses in front of a C-130, three men celebrate a new defense budget, and a mock “get ready with me” sequence shows breakfast and a VR drone operator confusing the wrong house. The clip then shifts into an absurd pro-war debate, a fighter-jet stunt, and a fake Lockheed “secret hacks” shopping page featuring military vehicles and an Apache helicopter. Upbeat TikTok music, narration, and abrupt comedic cuts make the militarized sales-pitch framing intentionally ridiculous. EN: A fast-cut TikTok-style parody presents defense contractors and military technology as if they were trendy lifestyle content: a man poses in front of a C-130, three men celebrate a new defense budget, and a mock “get ready with me” sequence shows breakfast and a VR drone operator confusing the wrong house. The clip then shifts into an absurd pro-war debate, a fighter-jet stunt, and a fake Lockheed “secret hacks” shopping page featuring military vehicles and an Apache helicopter. Upbeat TikTok music, narration, and abrupt comedic cuts make the militarized sales-pitch framing intentionally ridiculous.

Guys, I just picked up Lockheed Martin's new C-130J Super Hercules and this thing is actually much bigger than I thought it would be. I ain't never break the same! What does that say? Are those available in the TikTok shop? Yeah, guys, if you head on over to Lockheed's TikTok shop, this is the new RX-9 Hellfire. Get ready with me to go to work as a reconnaissance drone operator. First I get dressed, then I eat my breakfast, and finally I do my finger stretches. These are super important because I'm gonna be on the computer all day finding out where the bad guys are and keeping you safe. House on the left! House on the left! No, no! That's the wrong- it was my left! That's the wrong fucking house! At around noon I get some Codoba. Hey, give me one reason why war is good. Okay, hey, bro, shut the fuck up! If it's such a bad thing, then why does every society do it and why are all the video games about it so fucking stupid? Oh my god, you're the biggest dumbass. Our new Pride Month merch just dropped. Damn. That goes pretty hard, man. Do any of the Raytheon customers feel like the proportions of the bombs are getting smaller? It's like Chipotle all over again. Don't buy anything from Lockheed Martin without knowing these secret menu hacks.

• @antichirst / 18974 2025-02-26